So, if you read my last post, “God You Reign,” you know my brother is in the hospital and things from an earthly perspective are not looking good. Here’s a bit of what God did yesterday.
On my way in to the hospital to be with my brother and family during this time yesterday morning, I felt a difficult conversation coming. I was preparing for it and was looking for the Lord to speak. I needed a fresh word and He fed me this on my detour as I escaped traffic on 94.
It was the intersection of Grace and Leavitt.
I know to some this seems silly, but to those of us who know a God that speaks in so many ways, you understand that though the pronunciation is probably ‘lev it’ this spoke a truth of my need to stay in trust mode.
He told me there to ‘Leave it to Grace.’ Rafael is beyond weak. And I am feeling pretty weak myself, but the Lord is our strength.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Yesterday we were told by the doctors, that it is highly likely that my brother, Rafael will pass away in the next few days from the severe swelling in his brain. They have also stated that even if he survives there is 0% chance that Rafael will ever be able to function again, meaning life support forever. But What does God say?
“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27
It is clear that the Lord is blessing me with his grace which brings me peace and comforts me, but I continue to blog from a place of honesty when I say that the last 24 hours have seen my belief in miracles stay alive and well, but whether or not God will bless us in that way is still a mystery. 90% of the time I am confident in this hope of Raf’s recovery and I speak life to this situation and claim victory over Rafael’s swelling. It WILL subside. Then there is that 10%…
That 10% is the well spring of momentary tears.
That 10% is what makes sleep difficult.
But also that 10% is what the enemy wants to grow. This is what the devil has been waiting for, room to operate in my faith.
“I do believe, help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24
“Help thou mine unbelief – Supply thou the defects of my faith. Give me strength and grace to put “entire” confidence in thee. Everyone who comes to the Saviour for help has need of offering this prayer. In our unbelief and our doubts we need his aid, nor shall we ever put sufficient reliance on him without his gracious help.” ~Albert Barnes
I find that life can often change dramatically by our choices. However, the majority of our decisions are not the brand that will make a major shift in our direction, but maybe the number is closer to 10%. I believe that trusting God with even that 10% of doubt, that 10% of fear is going to turn out to be one of those 10% choices.
So here is what I am deciding…:
- I decide to Trust Him Despite…
- I decide to fast and pray today for Rafael and trust God for his healing. [Sun Stand Still]
- I decide to let God use me as He pleases in this trial.
- I decide to pray for all those that are journeying through my family in this, that they may grow closer to the Lord.
- I decide to only speak God’s truth over this situation.
- I decide to devote the rest of my life from this moment forward to lighting up the darkness and never backing down.
The devil is going to wish that He never messed with me and mine.
Now it is pretty clear why they call me Pastor Fury. In Jesus’ name, I am going to unite the Lord’s Avengers and make war on sin, death, and the enemy.
In short, “It’s on!”